Last night, I did not rest.
I tossed. I turned. I worried. I prayed.
I begged and pleaded for God to lift a particular burden off my family. We’ve been wrestling with this “demon” for quite a while. I’ll spare you the details. I’ve gone through Bible studies and read several articles about rest. Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still and know that I am God.” I’ve argued with God over this scripture. I love and cherish my family so deeply, but, given the joy and despair of my responsibilities, where is my rest? God, quit asking the impossible of me. You clearly didn’t pencil in “rest” when you planned out the path of my life.
I’d be embarrassed to admit how many of my prayers have included an apology for the gap between prayers and a promise not to go so long before I reach out again. This morning I realized God allowed this particular “demon” to haunt my family all these months to bring me to my knees. God is so patient. God is so gentle. I mean, he could take out the entire world with one word, just as quickly as he created it. Last night, My Comforter and My Friend, ever so gently said, “You want to talk to me? I’m here. Talk.” This morning, I poured out all my worries. This morning, I thanked God for the very thing I was worried about because my burdens opened communication between us. Every ounce of me trusts that God is in control of the things I have been anxious over. He will deliver my family into the next step on our journey. He will lift our burdens right off our shoulders.
Last night, I did not rest. My rest came in the morning when I spent time with Jesus.